I saw this and it made me think of you.
I think of you all throughout the day, actually since we pulse so much of the same beat:
Health issues that express themselves as fatigue, weight gain, skin problems, libido crashes (libido? what’s a libido? I think it’s a country right near Liberia…) mood changes, more mood changes, relationship tensions (probably caused by mood changes — and you know, people being assholes which contribute to the mood changes, sort of like how alcohol increases the intensity of Xanax) and on and on…
The challenge of being a mom, co-provider, colleague, leader, partner, supporter, daughter, friend, sister…
all while feeling like poop on a cracker and so not yourself.
And the guilt — oy vey…the guilt.
The control issues.
(And did I mention more control issues?)
I so DEEPLY get where you are because I’ve lived that dream too. And I still am in my own ways.
I get what it’s like to be in those in between places: I’ve lost weight but not all. I’ve cleaned up my relationships, but not all. I’ve taken responsibility for my health, but not all.
You get what I mean…
I know you do.
Here’s the thing that I know that I know in my heart of hearts:
Hashimoto’s is my pathway to ascension. It’s not my punisher, my judge, my problem or anything.
I see it as my tap on the shoulder to pay attention.
Because I wasn’t really paying attention before.
I was living a performance-driven, fear-based, controlling, type-A kind of life.
I looked good. I made money. I had a solid reputation.
All driven by fear mixed with gifts and talents.
I was in toxic relationships with people who were performance-driven too. And I was in a God-relationship where I was in performance-mode too. (If you want to really screw yourself up, take negative qualities and fear and then, put them on a god-figure as if they are HIS qualities, and make yourself subject to them, with a risk of hell and disease as the punishments — and watch how fast you get sick and crazy…)
I don’t judge myself for any of that. It just ended up proving to have a very low workability in my life, because I eventually crashed and burned with great velocity and impact. It was impressive, actually, if you think about it.
At first, all that crash and burn (the physical, the financial, the relational) and the diagnosis with Hashimoto’s, all looked like a punishment and a judgment — but eventually looked like a teacher and reminder.
Like I said, a tap on the shoulder…
It is my wake-up call to get my focus off of what doesn’t matter and put it onto what does.
When I’m tired, I could feel resentful or I could rest.
When I’m cranky, I could choose to blame someone else or to speak what I need.
When I’m bloated, I could feel angry that I can’t eat what I want or I can choose foods that give me energy make me feel great.
It’s my reminder to check in and ask myself: Am I living from Fear or from Love? From Being Controlling or Being Self-Controlled? Am I living from Stress or from Peace?
Am I abdicating my responsibility to live my happiest, healthiest life — or am I owning it?
That is what Hashimoto’s has given to me: An eye on whether my life is being
Driven or Guided.
Dragged or Led.
Forced or Inspired.
It’s ALL in how I see it.
The other day, my 11 year-old asked me, “Mom, what is abundance?” I told him, “It’s when you have more than what you need — more than you could even ask or imagine.”
He drew two pictures.
A Bun Dance.
It’s all a matter of how you look at it.
I CHOOSE to see Hashimoto’s as my pathway for living
healing to my body
kind of life.
This is my pathway to ascension.
Because I choose it to be that.
Our Girlfriends’ Guide to Hashimoto’s is here to support you in seeing things from the highest view point and my book, “You’re Not Crazy and You’re Not Alone” was written to help you feel understood AND empowered as you walk this healing path — not just for your body, but for your soul.
And if you don’t happen to have Hashimoto’s, that’s fine — the book will serve you, too, because likely you have something else that is your pathway to ascension and the subjects I address in it are for every woman who’s on a journey to loving herself.
Which happens to be me.
And maybe you, too.
Blessings on you as you shift your view and find the abundance that exists within, not only the circumstances you have, but ultimately, the person who you are.
Sending you love and lots of sloppy wet kisses